Top Ten Best Advice for New Brides: Choose your favorite!

by jaime on August 6, 2012

The time has come! I’ve selected the top ten best advice that was shared on our earlier bridal tips post, and now you get to vote for your favorite right here. Choose a number and leave a comment below – you CAN vote for yourself, ladies! – and be sure to share this post on Facebook and Twitter so your friends can get their votes in, too!

1. During wedding planning time, it seems that people come out of the woodworks to let you know their suggestions of what you “should do” to make your wedding better. While some of give advice that may be helpful, others may not. It is your day, and your turn to make the decisions. In my Aunt’s wedding, she appointed my mother to be the buffer between the bride and the well-intented-advice-givers. My mother would note all the suggestions, thank those who gave them, filtered through them, then passed the useful suggestions to the bride. This took stress from the bride who was such a people pleaser! Please do not feel as though you have to please anyone else or incorporate everyone else’s ideas. When it’s all said and done, you should be happy with the wedding you planned. – Amanda I.

2. Don’t be afraid to buy secondhand items such as decor, jewelry, and even dresses. Nobody will ever know and you save money to spend on other items. Save where you can so you can splurge where you want to! – Tiffany W.

3. Like in real estate, don’t fall in love with the first dress you see, or the first location you see. Let your gut do the talking – and take your time. I learned that the hard way. I bought the most gorgeous dress at a trunk sale, and never ended up wearing it because the dream wedding I planned (with my husband’s young daughters standing up for me) blew up in my face after the relationships with those girls went south. Instead of marrying and celebrating at the Crystal Gardens at Navy Pier in Chicago, we ended up at a rental synagogue in a loft bldg late on a Wednesday afternoon, and my second dress reminds me of a bad prom dress or what a younger mother would wear to her daughter’s wedding. Ouch. I was out over $3K for that beautiful mermaid dress, 15 lbs heavier from the stress, and miserable that I gave up Crystal Gardens. – Sandy

4. No matter what happens in your marriage (and there will be plenty of ups and downs), you’ll be guaranteed to make it through if you remember to communicate with each other about what you’re thinking and feeling, in everything from little problems to big decisions. Not communicating is what leads to blow-ups, fights, and distances. – Kristen

5. Planning a wedding is hard work and can end up feeling like a full-time job. My fiance and decided to have a few designated weekends where we didn’t talk about wedding planning and it did wonders on our relationship. Your engagement is such a happy time but can easily be overlooked as such if you’re constantly talking about the little details instead of the overall picture– a marriage.

Another tip, do your research! You may want to hurry to cross things off your list but trust me, you will be so much happier if you take the time to make sure you’re making the right decision. We spent about 2 months researching photographers and videographers because we knew that it was so important to us. We were able to get some amazing high-quality vendors yet in our budget all because we took the time to look. And realize that you will be working with these people on the most important day of your life. Make sure you click with them! – Bre

6. My best advice is to remember to be thankful for all of the people and things that have to come together, even in small ways, to make your wedding happen. Even the smallest detail, one that may seem insignificant, combines with the others to let each moment occur– approved vacation time, a photographer returning a phone call, a stranger’s smile and congratulations. Consider, in awe, all that had to come together for every moment.

You will be nicer to the people around you, you will be able to be more present and appreciative during the process of planning, which I would argue is just as important to you feel married than the wedding itself, and instead of being disappointed if things don’t perfectly match your expectations, you can find joy in all the wonderful things that do happen! – Becca S.

7. Remember that it’s most important to enjoy your day as a couple, but also allow your family to celebrate with you too. My parents didn’t get the wedding they dreamed of and neither did my fiance’s, so being able to throw their children one was a pretty big deal– plus, we were the first kids in both families to tie the knot. Allow them something that they can claim as “their” contribution, without taking over the whole wedding. This gives you all a better balance on what to expect and who is involved in what. Communication is key! Delegate tasks to your bridesmaids too! Ask them for help setting up (if you don’t have a coordinator) and getting guests on the dance floor! Also, make it fun for your fiance! He’s likely knot going to enjoy the long shopping trips looking for the perfect pair of shoes, but I know my guy LOVES going cake and dinner tasting, so I made sure to turn those into dates: even though we are doing wedding stuff, we can talk about other things while having a good time. Finally, for brides on a budget: get creative! I’m learning all kinds of new skills while saving tons of money! Plus, it adds to the sentimental factor throughout the whole process and I get people involved more (eg my little brother help me stamp the wax monograms on invites). – Shyda

8. Don’t just practice your hair and makeup in the mirror. Take pictures! What looks good in bathroom lighting might look completely different in pictures taken outside/in different lighting, etc. A friend thought she bought the perfect face powder for her wedding day, but when she got her photos back she looked like a ghost! Her terrible situation could have been avoided if she had just snapped a few pictures of herself wearing the makeup before the big day! – Caroline

9. LIVE IN THE MOMENT! Everyone tells you that your wedding day will fly by – and it does – so take a step back mentally and really enjoy every moment of your celebration. From the moment you wake up, relish in the fact that this is your wedding day! It’s finally here! When you get together with your bridesmaids to get beautified, relax and enjoy this special time together. Laugh as often and you can. As you are about to walk down the aisle, relfect on how you will be walking toward the person who loves and understands you more than anyone in the world. Really listen to the verses, prayers, readings, blessings and wishes that are offered during your ceremony. Hug as many family and friends as possible. Pause during your reception to look at your guests and remember that all of these people are here today because they love you and your partner and support your union. You’ve worked so hard planning, organizing, delegating and seeing to all of the details. Take off your wedding-planning hat for the day, put on your veil and have a fabulous time! You deserve it! – Ann S.

10. Always remember that YOU ARE NOT ALONE in all of this. Join a forum group like WeddingBee or the Knot any of the other great sites out there or a Facebook group where there are other brides planning their weddings too so there is someone to vent to when no one else understands or you have an irrational wedding fear. Having the support system of other amazing people going through the same things and who will remind you when you are about to pull your hair out over something that it doesn’t matter as long as you get to marry the love of your life. Having someone able to put things back into perspective is beyond priceless. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there – you never know who you may meet! – Ashley P.

We’ll be selecting our top three best tips based on votes after one week (August 13, 2012), so get your votes in now!

Love,
Jaime

{ 101 comments }

Whitney August 6, 2012 at 2:20 pm

I LOVE #9. Words to live by!

Maria F August 6, 2012 at 2:23 pm

#9 for sure!!!! she knows EXACTLY what she’s talking about and then you look back on that day and remember all of that reflection and are still close to those same family and friends who are still supporting your love and union and there for you no matter what. Great advice and beautifully said!!!!

Claire August 6, 2012 at 2:24 pm

#9!!!

MJ Barrett August 6, 2012 at 2:51 pm

I love advise # 9 The couple should enjoy their special day!

Krystle August 6, 2012 at 3:38 pm

absolutely without a doubt #9. it makes you remember those little moments throughout the day that make it that much more special and memorable of a day!

Caroline Srygley August 6, 2012 at 3:56 pm

#8!

Breanna August 6, 2012 at 4:02 pm

#5!

Ashton Worley August 6, 2012 at 4:05 pm

#8– Way to go Caroline! Perfect advice.. totally would have never thought of that!

Carolyn August 6, 2012 at 4:08 pm

#8. Great advice! Having just been through a wedding, pictures capture the true look.

Britt August 6, 2012 at 4:23 pm

#8 definitely! My friend recently had a wedding and didn’t practice her make up in different lighting, and it turns out that the makeup was too pale indoors, but looked okay outside.

Brianne August 6, 2012 at 4:35 pm

#4! Communication can’t solve every problem, but it can solve most of them!

Shyda August 6, 2012 at 4:38 pm

#7!! That’s me!!

Krista August 6, 2012 at 4:39 pm

#9 is definitely the most important piece of advice! Don’t let the day slip by, enjoy every moment of it! You will never get that moment back.

Priscilla August 6, 2012 at 4:42 pm

I agree with #7. She’s on point about family having their own pet project

Shay August 6, 2012 at 4:43 pm

#7!! That’s my sister!! She knows what she’s talking about!

[email protected] August 6, 2012 at 4:45 pm

My daughter said it best– Go Shyda! Advice #7!

Moscilla August 6, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Woops– name is Moscilla, lol

Moscilla August 6, 2012 at 4:46 pm

My daughter’s advice #7 is great! AGREED!

Jessica August 6, 2012 at 4:48 pm

#7!!!!

Mahrukh August 6, 2012 at 4:48 pm

#7 – we never know what it means for parents to watch their kids walk down the aisle until we’re parents ourselves. This suggestion is a great way to show that it’s really 2 families that come together in a marriage, not just 2 people. :) good luck Shyda

kmjdaniel August 6, 2012 at 4:51 pm

I <3 #7. It is SO TRUE and SO IMPORTANT! Great advice, Shyda!

Gia August 6, 2012 at 4:54 pm

#7 is so right! This is a day about bringing two families together, so you can’t forget them!

Becca S August 6, 2012 at 4:57 pm

I’m #6! Can I vote for myself? These are all wonderful though..thanks for sharing, everyone! :)

Karen August 6, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Having been married 11 (very happy!) years now I have to agree with #4. It has saved our sanity on many, many occasions. The wedding is one day, the marriage is a whole lot longer! 😉

JD August 6, 2012 at 5:00 pm

#6

sadie August 6, 2012 at 5:03 pm

#6!! Its important to enjoy every ssingle part of the process!

Robin Rosenberg August 6, 2012 at 5:12 pm

I love #6. Living in the moment and taking joy from each little bit of progress toward the rest of your life…wonderful.

HMK August 6, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Many of these are great, but love #7, family is very important part!

Heidi August 6, 2012 at 5:33 pm

#8 all the way! So true! Vote for this one folks! It is the best one there!

Lynette August 6, 2012 at 5:35 pm

8# all the way. Good advice Carolyn, it is totally true!

Sofia August 6, 2012 at 5:36 pm

#7, thank you!

Tonya August 6, 2012 at 5:36 pm

The best one is … #8! Great advice. It actually happened to me to! Dont make that mistake, it is a bad one!

Linda August 6, 2012 at 5:39 pm

#8!!!!

Jenny August 6, 2012 at 5:41 pm

#8 all the way! Good advice Caroline!

Joanne Tam August 6, 2012 at 5:42 pm

#8 is perfect advice for an excited bride. Sometimes you have to pause and think about the details like that one!

Jack August 6, 2012 at 5:44 pm

#8 is easily the best one! They are all good though, ladies!

Joy Bonamarte August 6, 2012 at 5:53 pm

#4 Communication is KEY from the start!!!!

Jessica August 6, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Number four! Wedding advice is all well and good, but marriage advice will last longer. :)

amira August 6, 2012 at 6:14 pm

#7 !! Finding a balance between what you want and what your family wants is so important, a life skill! And including your friends makes them happy and takes a load off your back. Best way to guarantee that everyone feels they are a part of your celebration while still allowing yourself space to make it your own.

Terri August 6, 2012 at 7:01 pm

#7 – Great Advice, your children’s wedding is a very important day.

Matt August 6, 2012 at 7:04 pm

#7- Best advice, good ideas

Angie August 6, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Number 8! Always make sure to practice outside, and to take pictures! Great advice!

Kelsey August 6, 2012 at 7:22 pm

#8!!! Such great advice!

Michelle August 6, 2012 at 7:30 pm

#8! Pictures last a lifetime!

ashley p August 6, 2012 at 7:36 pm

#10!

Shanda August 6, 2012 at 7:37 pm

I have to say #10! I would go nuts with out all my wedding planning friends to vent to!

Juan August 6, 2012 at 7:41 pm

#10 My fiance has gotten a lot of help with planning from wedding bee! The girls on that site have helped her a TON!

Angelica August 6, 2012 at 7:42 pm

#10!!!!!

Carin August 6, 2012 at 7:43 pm

#10! I’ve met so many incredible people through Weddingbee, I don’t know where I would be without them!

Melissa August 6, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Definitely #10! I don’t know what I would’ve done without my online friends that gave fair advice.

Tierra August 6, 2012 at 7:54 pm

# 10

Lydia August 6, 2012 at 7:59 pm

Number 10!

Ann S. August 6, 2012 at 8:02 pm

#9, life moves fast. Don’t let the day pass you by without pausing a few times to soak it all in.

Andrew August 6, 2012 at 8:06 pm

#9

Clara August 6, 2012 at 8:23 pm

#10 for sure. I wouldn’t be able to plan my wedding without my friends and the great gals I have met on my Weddingbee and Facebook

Chris August 6, 2012 at 8:27 pm

#10

Tara August 6, 2012 at 8:30 pm

Definitely #10! We all need to vent, and sometimes you just want that unbiased opinion to help make sense of it all :)

Amber S August 6, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Being in a new town, and just having a lot of issues with finding people that understand, I’ll have to say #10 is my favorite. If you aren’t sure where to turn, sites like these are awesome, because you can talk to other people going through the same doubts, joys, and general nervousness that you are.

Jamie August 6, 2012 at 10:07 pm

I vote for #10, the more you put yourself out there, the more advice you will get from different perspectives. I dont think that family helps out too much as they didnt come to my wedding so it is all about outside resources that DONT stress you out! <3

Virginia August 6, 2012 at 10:08 pm

#10 definitely! They’ve been so helpful in the whole planning process, and just having someone to vent to!

Cathy August 6, 2012 at 10:21 pm

#4. As a couple’s therapist, this is hands down the most important advice.

Fareeha August 6, 2012 at 10:31 pm

#7!! weddings are about families, not just the couple!

cordelia August 6, 2012 at 10:39 pm

I vote 10
I havent married yet but the one thing thats helping me most is having others help me with it all these people are fast becoming friends to me and i honestly think once im married i dont know what ill do with out that network and all the wedding talk

Lulu August 6, 2012 at 10:43 pm

#7 is such a great piece of advice. the most beautiful bride is one who is selfless enough to make sure her entire group of family and friends are also enjoying the happy occasion along with her.

Belinda August 6, 2012 at 11:19 pm

No .10! I have a whole new support group I never would have otherwise known if I didn’t join a fantastic group on Facebook.

Jake August 6, 2012 at 11:24 pm

10. my fiance is so much more relaxed having other women to talk to who at the same time are going through what she is planning wise. where i cant help or dont understand, they can and do.

Cameron August 7, 2012 at 12:41 am

#7, it’s the best!

Amber August 7, 2012 at 1:14 am

#10

terry g August 7, 2012 at 1:58 am

#10! my fiancee has made some really great friends from “the bee” and its nice she has someone to talk to!

beetz August 7, 2012 at 3:05 am

#7. Family is so so so key.

Atiii August 7, 2012 at 3:15 am

#7!

Julie August 7, 2012 at 7:31 am

Love number 10. They are all great but 10 wins by a whisker. Good luck to all planning a wedding at the moment

Kristina August 7, 2012 at 8:41 am

#10. For most this day only happens once so enjoy it and don’t stress the little thing.

Paige August 7, 2012 at 8:54 am

I vote for #10-
It’s true. A bride needs a good support group of other brides while planning her wedding.

Loni C. August 7, 2012 at 9:40 am

#9 ~ your wedding day is what it is all about! Soak it up and enjoy it to the fullest!

Marie August 7, 2012 at 10:47 am

# 10 !! Everyone needs support from someone somewhere somehow when it comes to planning a weddin!

Sheina August 7, 2012 at 11:54 am

#7 all the way!

sabrina August 7, 2012 at 11:55 am

Go Shyda! #7– totally agreed.

Shan August 7, 2012 at 11:55 am

7– my big sis knows what she’s talking bout

anna August 7, 2012 at 12:30 pm

#10

Hannah August 7, 2012 at 12:32 pm

#8!!!!

Cynthia August 7, 2012 at 12:42 pm

#7, hands down best advice

Farhat August 7, 2012 at 1:13 pm

#7!! Marriage is all about bringing two different families together and making them into one. I love the fact that this piece of advice emphasizes the communal aspect of getting married (how it affects all those who are connected to the bride and groom) but it also, highlights the importance of taking ownership of your wedding…And having fun while doing it!

Levi August 7, 2012 at 7:09 pm

#7! Shyda said it best!

Terri August 7, 2012 at 8:51 pm

#7 tops them all…

R P August 7, 2012 at 11:28 pm

I find #10 the most helpful advice where the rubber meets the road. So many good resources to help you create the wedding that YOU desire.

Kasi August 8, 2012 at 12:42 am

#10 is definitely the best advice here. All great, but #10 is just over the top awesome. Every bride should know!

Homei August 8, 2012 at 5:38 am

#7 is the most useful comment!

Beth J. August 8, 2012 at 6:06 am

#9….the day flies by way too fast.

Lydia August 8, 2012 at 7:07 am

#8. Best advice EVER!

Bethany August 8, 2012 at 2:43 pm

No. 8! They all are great tips!

Sonya August 8, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Numero Ocho! #8

Fro August 9, 2012 at 12:39 am

#7!

Anna August 9, 2012 at 10:48 am

lucky #7 – a wedding doesn’t only unite two lovers – it unites two families as well, why deny them of being part of the celebration?

Jov August 9, 2012 at 5:53 pm

#10 best advice ever!

Katie August 9, 2012 at 5:54 pm

10. 10. 10. 10!! :)

Lo August 9, 2012 at 5:57 pm

They all have great points, but I do love number 10 most.

Jordan Hendrix August 10, 2012 at 9:43 am

#5 and #9 are my favorite!

moe August 10, 2012 at 11:50 am

#7. sounds great

Nonda August 13, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Love #10’s advice! :)

Phoenix August 13, 2012 at 5:18 pm

#10 is awesome!

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