I am oh-so-smitten by these tips from Annie of MamaDweeb – she really hit the nail on the head! I especially love how unique many of them are, and how many I’d never thought of before! Enjoy today’s guest blog!
After the music, flowers, vows and emotional roller-coaster of your magical day, how do you recover? How do you nurse the hangover of a day you will never experience again?
My wedding was amazing, breathtaking, every single thing I wanted it to be! From early morning until deep into the night, I was moving full throttle. When I woke up the next day, I felt disoriented, excited, a tad nervous and extremely happy. Looking back, there are a few things I could have done differently and a lot of things I did so right. Here is my wisdom for you.
1. Plan a relaxing honeymoon. Going from a full and busy wedding to jam-packed honeymoon then back to life will leave you burned out. If you want to do lots of fun activities on your honeymoon, then plan times of rest too so you can recover your strength.
2. Do nothing with your new spouse. You just had the biggest, busiest, most amazing wedding – take at least one full day to do nothing but relax with each other. Chances are, life will become ridiculously busy once you return, and the ability to just relax will be difficult. So do it now! My personal favorite is playing Scrabble as a couple.
3. Appoint reliable people to take care of all the clean-up. The last thing you want on your mind during your honeymoon is “I hope these got put away correctly.” When you give the responsibility to your trusted friend, then fully trust them. Don’t allow yourself to worry.
4. Do things you don’t normally do. Making memories doing activities you would never do any other time is invigorating and exciting. You will remember this time for the rest of your life – make these memories count!
5. Plan ahead for plenty of adjustment. The ceremony is dreamy, the honeymoon an amazing vacation – then you return to life. Maybe plan for going back to work only half day when you return home. However you achieve it, prepare for how to adjust to married life.
6. Keep the wedding budget affordable. If you keep your costs down, you can return home without the huge credit card bills hanging over your head. You can begin to plan your finances as a new couple with a clean slate!
7. Discuss hot topics before you say “I Do.” How will you handle money? Who is responsible for cleaning the house? Break those topics in before you meet them head-on as a newly married couple.
8. Hire a housekeeper! Even if it is just for the first month, hiring someone to help you clean the house alleviates your stress and helps you adjust easier. I wish I had hired a housekeeper. Or a professional organizer. Or both.
9. Get friends and family involved. If you don’t want to pay money for a housekeeper, then make a game and ask local friends/family if they want to trade house cleaning days. Everyone meet at A’s house on one Saturday and clean, then the next week you all go to B’s house. Bonus – when you clean with them, you can learn their tricks!
10. Keep the spark alive. Make the “honeymoon stage” last for as long as you possibly can! One thing I did as soon as honeymoon was over was I put myself entirely into my life and didn’t even ask for a date for a couple weeks, sometimes a month. This time is so new and can be so fun – cherish it.
11. Be honest with each other. I remember being so scared to hurt his feelings that I just kept it inside – don’t do that. There are ways to say how you feel without disrespecting the other person. And if you keep your feelings and thoughts inside , you begin to harbor bitterness, which can really ruin those blissful first months.
12. Prepare for disagreements. Discuss with each other how you react in times of defensiveness. Do you lash out vocally? Retreat mentally? Make sure you know how you fight, so that when you do, you can logically understand what is happening and solve the problem before it makes a huge mess.
13. Do a project together. There is something amazing that happens when couples actually do things together. Make a birdhouse, go Geocaching, volunteer together. Working together increases communication skills and creates amazing memories you will hide in your heart for years to come.
14. Open gifts with wine. Opening gifts can be so much fun – but doing it with a little spirits in hand enhances the experience. Laugh, make it a game! Don’t make this a chore you both have to sit through.
15. Have plenty of storage room. When I first moved in with Josh, I had nowhere to put my stuff. I had boxes sitting in our bedroom for the entire first year. The mind can think clearer when the clutter is gone, so get rid of it and have places to put your stuff.
16. Go out with friends. This goes along with “how to not get in a marriage rut” tip. Go out with your own friends at times to keep yourself happy and centered. You don’t always have to go out as a couple. In the same way, if you are always going out alone, it might create a bit of distance, so keep that balance.
17. Have girlfriends help you write the Thank You notes. I don’t know about you – but I stink at writing thank-you notes! And Josh was no help. He saw it as just as much of a chore as I did. I suggest picking your battles and finding creative ways to not have to fight. Don’t be hurt if he doesn’t want to write them. Make it a girl’s night out and get those suckers mailed!
18. Savor every second! You will never get these amazing, new, blissful (and extremely stressful) days back. If you take anything away, I hope it is this: make every second count. Don’t fight over toothpaste or dirty socks. Create jokes instead of drama and savor the mundane moments.
About the author: Annie Shultz is a Kansas mom blogger, wife to Josh and mom to 3 adorable children. She has been married for 6 years and has learned quite a lot during this fast-paced time. She dreams of returning to her honeymoon in Venice. You can tweet with her @MamaDweeb.