I’ve heard a lot of talk about the art of the wedding toast, and there are a number of resources on this topic, so it’s no surprise that it’s a hot debate. I’m by NO means an authority on public speaking, like, I tend to just avoid eye contact, look around awkwardly, and tremble in my stilettos just a tad.
But here’s what I don’t want to hear when I’m at a celebration of love. Or really, any other occasion.
1. The relationship history of either couple
While this might fascinate me if it were to just come up in conversation, because I’m nosy sometimes, this isn’t something I’d want to be shared with my entire extended family, and it’s not something I want to hear about if I barely know anyone there. I’m sorry, but the couple’s relationship history didn’t start “when you dumped that one chick, whatsherface, and she egged your house, but she got the wrong house and that’s how you met.” Just don’t bring up exes.
2. It’s not a roast
There’s no need to insult anyone in the wedding party, or anyone else, for that matter. A toast is for you to express your well wishes to the couple. There are plenty of ways to make people laugh without being insulting.
Here is a general guideline:
It should be short and sweet. The sweet part is slightly more important, in my opinion. Introduce yourself, tell a brief anecdote about how you know the couple, maybe crack an innocent joke, wish them well, and sit down. Here’s what I would say (we’ll use my friend L as an example):
“Hi, I’m Sarah, I’ve known L since 6th grade band class when she walked in and sat down next to me, including me in a conversation with her and another girl that ended with ‘Sorry, we have boy problems’. J, you’re getting such a wonderful woman, and I know you’ll give her everything she deserves. I’ve never seen her as happy as she is when she’s with you, and I’m so happy you’ve put an end to her boy problems. Best of luck to you guys and your future together. Cheers.”
What are some of the best and worst toasts you’ve heard?