Let’s Hear It From The Boys: Do men want to plan the wedding too?

by Sarah Macdougall on October 31, 2013

So it’s not really any secret that girls in general (and this is a very… general… generalization here, and does not at all apply to every couple ever) tend to be more detail-oriented about weddings. A lot of women have been planning since they got their first Barbie, made her walk down the aisle with perpetually-happy Ken, and drive off into the sunset in a pink convertible/jeep/horse. While there are a number of men out there who care about the details, it’s probably fair to say that not a lot of these men have had the ideal image in their head for the same amount of time. I talked to a few members of the male population to figure out what exactly they want out of a wedding, and here’s what I got. Get your decoder pins out.

do men want to plan the wedding too?

A somewhat common fear is the fear of saying the wrong thing. Most of the guys I talked to seemed to want to be involved, but didn’t want to waste time battling unnecessarily over table linens. A lot of women seem to have issues with feeling like their SO isn’t interested when asked about small details, and a lot of women want help with said details so they don’t feel like they’re just dragging their SO into something they aren’t fully invested in. While some men are interested in the details, a lot of them would rather you pick something that will make you happy, and if it’s something they really REALLY hate, they’ll tell you. It’s a bit of a balancing act. It’s not that these men aren’t interested in the wedding (hopefully you wouldn’t be engaged if this were the case), it’s just that a wedding doesn’t make a marriage.

Another common theme seemed to be just that. One guy said that the most important thing to him in a wedding would ideally be the feeling of unity. That is, after all, what the day is about. Table linens, place cards, lighting schemes… Those all make a good event, but it should be about the bond between two people. No lighting scheme in the world can illustrate that (…or maybe I need to educate myself more about lighting.) That said, this could be why some men tend to not seem very involved in the small details. Most of the men I spoke with CARE about the wedding, sure, but they cared more about what it symbolizes, and less about the event itself.

How are you involving your groom? If you are the groom, how are you staying involved?

(image via chatelaine)

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